Farting in Public

I know I haven't posted for quite some time and lets just put it down to no time and not much to say. Actually last weekend was very eventful and I will do a detailed post with photos over the next few days as it is a long weekend.

So as the title says - Farting in Public! Several days ago at about 11am, I walk over to the elevators, and stand there as you do until the elevator arrives. Then out of nowhere this guy to my right just rips out this huge loud fart in front of about 4 people. I could not believe it. He just stood there as if nothing had happened. In any case the elevator came and that was the end of that. Late in the afternoon on the same day, believe it or not the exact thing happened again, just different elevators, and a different man.

I just let it go as a weird thing, then two nights ago my boss and I went out for a dinner, we walked into the lobby of another big 5 star hotel and suddenly as we were walking this guy on the side just lets out the largest fart I think I have ever heard! It echoed through the entire lobby! We just burst out laughing, with this guy just still standing there as if nothing had just happened! Amazing! Only in Korea!

George W Bush English Lesson

Can the English language survive after Bush?

"The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country. "-George W. Bush

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."-George W. Bush

"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is ' to be prepared '."-George W. Bush

"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future. "
-George W. Bush


"The future will be better tomorrow."
-George W. Bush


"We're going to have the best educated American people in the world."-George W. Bush

" I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."-George W. Bush

"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe, we are a part of Europe."-George W. Bush


" Public speaking is very easy."-George W. Bush

"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."-George W. Bush


"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur. "-George W. Bush


"For NASA, space is still a high priority."- George W. Bush


"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."-George W. Bush


"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."-George W. Bush


" It's time for the human race to enter the solar system."-George W. Bush


For your safety, please do not try this at home!!

Only In Sudan - Married to a goat!

From a Local newspaper in Sudan, which was also put into the Australian Newspaper so must be true -

MAN FORCED TO MARRY GOAT

Goat ... identity of the victim cannot be revealed

A MAN caught "in flagrante delicto" with a goat has been forced to marry the animal.According to the local newspaper, The Juba Post, the goat's owner, a Mr Alifi, caught his neighbour, Mr Tombe, assaulting his goat and reported the man to the local council of elders for adjudication.

"It was around midnight when Tombe came to do his nonsense on my goat, and I was already in bed inside my house," Mr Alifi said.
"Suddenly I heard the goat make a loud noise. Immediately I rushed outside to find Mr Tombe was naked and engaged in a relationship with my goat. " When I asked him what are you doing there, he fell off the back of the goat, so I captured and tied him up. They said I should not take him to the police, but rather let him pay a dowry for my goat because he used it as his wife."

Mr Tombe agreed to pay a dowry of 150,000 Sudanese dinars ($125) for his new spouse
We have given him the goat, and as far as we know they are still together," Mr Alifi told the Post.


By the way it is a national holiday in Korea today so no work, but did end up at work to go to the gym, have lunch, and I guess do this blog! Have a great day!

English Lessons

Since I live in Korea, where the vast majority of expats are teaching English, I have forwarded this fantastic video. Please enjoy.

http://www.chilloutzone.de/files/06021505.html

This is another funny video about english -

http://www.chilloutzone.de/files/06021502.html

Management Philosophy & a blonde joke

I had a 5 hour meeting today! Can you believe it! Some people work 5 hours... I have one meeting for 5 hours! Anyway, have a few pics attached that were sent by a mate in Dubai, and the blonde joke comes from a friend at work. And hey, dont shoot the messanger on the joke ok!

And now for the blonde joke ........................................................

Subject: A jigsaw

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says:
"Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle and I can't figure out how to get started."

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?".
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,
"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster.

He then takes her hand and says:
"Secondly, I want you to relax..... Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then....." he said with a deep sigh "........ Let's put all these Corn Flakes back in the box."

Have a nice day!

Chinese eyes

If you cannot decipher anything, then try pulling the corner of your eyes outwards as if you were Chinese. And no I am not trying to be racist, just a way to explain it ok! Not looking for hate mail...

Anyway, the weather has taken a U-Turn in Seoul and it fell below the zero mark after a week or so of weather hovering around 2 0r 3 degrees. It was -7 this morning, and should hit -11 tonight! No snow in the city, but they say the mountains are covered in snow in the North. Would be nice to see.

One of my work mates was telling me yesterday that what would normally take him 3 hours to drive back to Seoul from his parents house in the South, took him 9 hours on Monday evening! Amazing, and you here this story all the time. You know, this is the only problem in Korea, the traffic. Or should I say too many cars, or should I say the infrastructure in regards to roads. You know the subway system around Seoul is fantastic, and cheap. The Country railway system seems to be very good, and sometimes I see more buses on the roads than cars! But traffic is unreal. I have no real solution, so will not bitch too much, but heck if the economy is doing so well, why wouldn't you spend a bit more on fixing this never ending problem! Work mates say they are just used to it, and plan accordingly. And the final thing on this .... There is no road rage!
It works!

Fly Fishing Anyone

Since I seem to be posting a few videos these days, I thought I would post this ne which was sent by Mum! Thanks Mum. You would think she is trying to give me a lesson on fishing!

http://media.putfile.com/Incredible-Fishing-Video

I believe this is taken in Brazil. Wish it was everywhere I fished! I tried to fish again over Christmas Day at my brothers places, and the only thing I caught was a sunburn!

Improve your workplace!

http://www.adviserworks.com.au/binaries?img=310&stypen=html

Click on the link for a great short movie on work discipline! Now this is how to get those efficiencies going. See even when I am at work I am looking for ways to improve! Do you think it is unconventional?

By the way it takes a little while to download, but promise it is funny! And you will need Windows Media Player.

Really Funny Movie on Sushi

Hi there,

The attached movies is via a blog I read sometimes, http://laowai.blogspot.com/, who actually got it from another blog - http://chaxiubao.typepad.com/chaxiubao/

Anyway it is quiet long, but very funny, and one guys to me is the Japanese version of Mr. Bean!
http://blogfiles.wfmu.org/BK/05/1211/japanese_tradition_sushi.mov


Its a long weekend, and Clariza and I are trying to watch the entire First Season of Lost, on a box set given by Dad for Christmas! Thanks! We are so far loving it, and forced ourselves to stop tonight or we would watch till the sun rises!

Australia Day!

God bless Australia!

WE ARE ONE!

We are the people of a free nation of blokes, sheilas and the occasional wanker.
We come from many lands (although a few too many of us come from New Zealand), and although we live in the best
country in the world, we reserve the right to bitch and moan about it whenever we bloody like.
We are One Nation but divided into many States.

First, there's Victoria, named after a queen who didn't believe in lesbians.
Victoria is the realm of Mossimo turtlenecks, cafe latte, grand final day, and big horse races.
Its capital is Melbourne, whose chief marketing pitch is that "it's livable". At least that's what they think.
The rest of us think it is too bloody cold and wet.

Next, there's NSW, the realm of pastel shorts, macchiato with sugar, thin books read quickly and millions of dancing queens.
Its capital Sydney has more queens than any other city in the world and is proud of it.
Its mascots are Bondi lifesavers who pull their Speedos up their cracks to keep the left and right sides of their brains separate.

Down south we have Tasmania, a State based on the notion that the family that bonks together stays together. In Tassie, everyone gets an extra chromosome at conception.
Maps of the State bring smiles to the
sternest faces.
It holds the world record for a single mass shooting, which the Yanks can't seem to beat no matter how often they try.

South Australia is the province of half-decent reds, a festival of foreigners and bizarre axe murders.
SA is the state of innovation. Where else can you so effectively reuse country bank vaults and barrels as in Snowtown, just out of Adelaide (also named after a queen).
They had the Grand Prix, but lost it when the views of Adelaide sent the Formula One drivers to sleep at the wheel.

Western Australia is too far from anywhere to be relevant.
It's main claim to fame is that it doesn't have daylight saving because if it did,
all the men would get erections on the bus on the way to work.
WA was the last state to stop importing convicts and many of them still work there in the government and business.

The Northern Territory is the red heart of our land: Outback plains, sheep stations the size of Europe, Kangaroos, Jackaroos, Emus, Uluru, and dusty kids with big smiles.
It also has the highest beer consumption of anywhere on the planet and its creek beds have the highest aluminium content of anywhere too.
Although the Territory is the centrepiece of our national culture, few of us live there and the rest prefer to fly over it on our way to Bali.

And there's Queensland.
While any mention of God seems silly in a document defining a nation of half arsed sceptics, it is worth noting that God probably made Queensland, as its beautiful one day and perfect the next.
Why he filled it with dickheads remains a mystery.

Oh yes and there's Canberra.
The less said the better.

We want to make “No worries mate" our national phrase, “She'll be right mate" our national attitude and "Waltzing Matilda“ our national anthem (so what if it's about a
sheep-stealing crim who commits suicide).

We love sport so much our newsreaders can read the death toll from a sailing race and still tell us who's winning.
And we're the best in the world at all the sports that count, like cricket, netball, rugby league and union, AFL, roo shooting, two up and horse racing.

Stand proud Aussies - we shoot, we root, we vote.
We are girt by sea and pissed by lunchtime.
I am, you are, we are Australian!

PS. We also shoot and eat the two animals that are on our National Crest!!!!
No other country has this distinction!

Happy
Australia
Day

Some Funny Photos for the day

I really would pay money to bestanding behind this nun! What is she looking at????

New hotel toilet design? What do you think? I hope you dont get a complex?

Very smart mouse! What do you think his chances are?

Hotel Industry

Ok, So I need to get my focus back on my blog. Work has been a killer since I began 2006, but all good though. Here are so thoughts about my wonderful industry. Some will get, some ..well.. maybe not.. I love the first one.. it is so damm true..

What Is A Hotel Manager?
A Hotel Manager must be a diplomat, a democrat, an autocrat, an acrobat anda doormat. He must have the facility to entertain prime ministers, princesof industry, pickpockets, gamblers, bookmakers, pirates, philanthropists,popsies and prudes. He must be on both sides of the "political fence" andmust be able to jump or sit on that fence.He should be, or have been a footballer, golfer, bowler, tennis player,cricketer, dart player, sailor, pigeon fancier, motor racer and linguist aswell as have a good knowledge of any other sport involving dice, cards,horse racing and billiards.It is also most useful, as he has sometimes to settle arguments andsquabbles, that he should be a qualified boxer, wrestler, weight lifter,sprinter and peacemaker.He must always look immaculate-when drinking with ladies and gentlemanlisted in the first paragraph, as well as bankers, wankers, theatricals,commercial travelers and company representatives even though he has justmade peace between any of the two, four, six or more of the aforementionedpatrons.

To be successful he must keep the bar full, the rooms full, the store roomfull, the wine cellar full, the customers full and not get full of himself.He must have a staff who is clean, honest, quick workers, quick thinkers,non-drinkers, mathematicians, technicians and at times be on the boss'sside, the customers side and stay on the outside of the bar.To sum up: He must be outside, inside, offside, glorified, sanctified,crucified, stupefied, cross eyed and if he's not the strong silent typethere's always suicide....

You might be in the hotel industry if…………..

You may sit at the same desk for 4 years and worked for 8 different managers, sit at 4 differant desks in 4 differant hotels in 4 years.


Going for cocktails and dinner is” NOT your idea of a nice evening.


When someone asks your exact job profile, you never know how to exactly answer.


You really get excited about 2% pay increase.


You sit in a cubical smaller than your bedroom closet.


It’s dark on your drive to work and when you leave from work.


Communication is something your “Group” is having problem with.


You see a good looking person and you know it’s a visitor/guest.


Food left over from banquets or meeting is your main staple diet.


You forget what you look like in anything but a “suit”.


All the work you where hired to do gets done before 9 and after 5.


You are already late on an assignment you just received.


Your boss’s favorite lines are:
“When you get a minute………...”
“In your spare time…………..….”
“I have an opportunity for you….”


Vacation in something you roll over to next year, if you are allowed.


Change is norm.


Nepotism is encouraged.


Six month is considered to be substantial longevity.


You dial “9” before the number no matter where you are calling from.


When you are walking in public, you have to fight the urge to pick up little scraps of paper and rubbish on the floor.


Your toilet paper at home is folded in triangle on the first sheet.


Your answer on the phone at home “Hello this is…... how may I help you?”


Eating in hotel restaurants are no fun anynore, rather it is more exciting to eat in fast food retaurants.


You inspect your hotel room when traveling.


Most of all, You read this entire list and understand it!

Well thats it for the moment. I wont promise anymore to update, just will do it when I can! Take care everyone.. Happy 2006!

I love my sleep too!

Found these pictures below on another blog. Thought they were pretty cool. My weekends are spend with a nice sleep in every Sunday. Got to do it at least once a week.

On Saturday night after a nice evening at Cousin Larry's in Hapgeong, we caught the last subway back to Samseong. My recommendation is dont get the last subway! We knew it was going to be crowded as our station was busy with people, but as the train arrived I could see inside that there was almost no way we were going to fit. But we were not going to give up, so as the doors opened we pushed our way in as did the others behind us, and we then spent the next 40 minutes squashed amongst hundreds of other commuters. It was so crowded that at some stops people just gave up and got off.

Anyway... enjoy your sleep!

I sure hope it is a new shoe! Or is he trying to climb in?

I guess it is more comfortable than the floor!

I cant believe I'm saying this but she actually looks comfortable!

Hasn't your mother always told you "never sleep with a mouthful of food"

I sure hope someone doesnt turn on the heater.

Night Out with the Ladies!

Late afternoon yesterday I was invited to a Housekeeping party as one of the ladies was retiring, and one was promoted to a new position in our other hotel.

So I set out in the pouring rain around 630pm to a Korean BBQ place not too far from the hotel. When I entered, our housekeeping team took up the entire restaurant with about 60 staff. So let my paint a picture here, as sorry I have no photos!

Our housekeeping is 90% female staff, with the average age around 50 years old. No I am not joking. Our hotel has been open for 18 years and almost all of them have been here since the beginning.

So I sit on the floor and enjoy a wonderful BBQ Pork Dinner, lots of beer, and thankfully avoided the Soju. The ladies were in great moods, slamming down Soju like water, eating for a tribe, and laughing and shouting as if it were all a comedy show. I have been out with our Front Office team, whom are half their age, and thier parties are more subdued! Then the speeches came, more drinking with every toast, lots of crying for Mrs. Lee's retirement, lots of cheering for Ms. Kim's promotion and I even made a speech that they all just laughed at, as most did not speak English.

I thought we were all done, but I and a few of the other male managers (all Korean) were strong armed by the ladies and taken to the closest Norebang(Kareoke), were I, 4 men, and 30 ladies dance and sang for almost an hour and a half. I begged and pleaded that my voice was never meant for singing, but I had no choice, so I sang a dreadful interpretation of Tears in Heaven by Eric Clapton. I was then thrown from lady to lady as their toyboy for three minutes of dancing each!, then finally, someone got smart and said it was time to leave. Dont get me wrong I was laughing so hard and having so much fun. Even when I was dancing with one of the ladies I told her my age and she told me her eldest son was the same age as me! She had a cheeky grin on her face. (God help me, what is she thinking!!)

Anyway, we all left, said goodbye, I trudged off in the pouring rain to my wonderful wife, and the ladies went home to see their husbands, children, and for some, their grandchildren.

I think, seeing these ladies at work will never be the same. And I mean that for the good things. Really though I have so much respect for the ladies whom have worked the majority or all of their lives cleaning rooms 6 days a weeks, then heading home and taking care of their families.

For now.....

News from Australia

Well it has been a big week in Australia, and in particular Sydney, my home town. And how do I know what is going on, well I read the Sydney Morning Herald Newspaper every morning. My day does not start unless I catch the headlines from home. http://www.smh.com.au/

So the first news was the AFL Final. Victory to the Sydney Swans! Yes, it is almost unbelievable since they had never won in over 70 years. I am not the biggest Aussie Rules fan but I have always been a Swans supporter. So I was very excited about the news!
http://media.fairfax.com.au/?rid=16893
I hope it works. It is the final minutes of the game. Gripping to the very end.

And then today I read that Sydney has been Voted for the Worlds best destination for food. Not just food, but culinary delights from some fantastic restaurants. Now anyone from Sydney is saying oh come on, must be better places.... but I don't think so. And it wasn't Aussies that voted on this! Read the article below;
http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2005/09/26/1127586779109.html

Well that's all for now. Speak soon!

Desperate Football Fans

This is great. I was reading through my regular travel emails and this article was in it.

1st Point - Name of Airline Company "Rum Air"

2nd Point - I guess this crew were just trying to give their 289 passengers the best service possible?! right?

Enjoy -

Desperate Football Fans!
Plane makes unauthorised detour to football match A faked fuel emergency allowed an aircraft load of football supporters from Gambia to attend the country’s world youth tournament match in Peru on Tuesday.
A Rum Air plane carrying 289 fans from the West African country made an unauthorised detour to Peru’s northern city of Piura, bypassing immigration formalities in the capital, Lima.The plane landed in time for fans to see the match against Qatar, which their team won 3-1 to reach the quarter finals of the World Under-17 Championship.The phoney emergency alerted fire fighters and police who raced to the airport, while hospitals were told to prepare for possible casualties.A Peruvian airport authority spokeswoman said the plane with 12 crew on board had raised the alarm, saying it did not have enough fuel to fly to Lima and would have to land in Piura instead.Immigration officials there checked documents and the fans went straight to the stadium to see the match.The plane was impounded, but it was not immediately clear what penalties the airline could face.

Beer Tragedy!

Damm, thats a lot of broken beer bottles! I reckon right after the accident the driver finally pulled over, jumped out of his truck, looked out over the thousands of broken bottles lying all over the road, walked over to one of the few remaining un-broken bottles, picked it up, opened it, and drank his sorrows away! A loss like this deserves a beer wouldnt you say.

Random Photos

Hi there,

You know, over the last week I have been looking through a lot of other blogs on the net and I tell you some of them put me to shame in terms of look, content, and character. So with this in mind I am going to try and mix my stuff up, so that it isn't some soap opera about our lives, rather a heap of anything and everything. Make sense?? Well if it doesn't, at the top of the page where it says next blog, click on that and do it for a while and check out a few random blogs. If you get to a page where it doesn't have this at the top just go back to the previous page and then click it again as it will bring up a new random page. Have fun! There are some really fantastic blogs out there. I will make sure I set up a blog favourite section for your comfort and pleasure.

So as the headline says I am going to put some random shots on this blog just to spice up my blog a little. Enjoy!

Golf Course Along the DMZ. Bring a lot of balls! I should play this course more often. Might actually teach me to keep my balls in the fairways!

Anyone for the beach?! This is Haeundae Beach in South Korea. It's hot hear now, and everyone heads to the beach. Sux's to be a lifeguard!

Who said laundry had to be boring! Yes it is a real sign!

"Holy Sandstorm Batman" This is a South Korean army base in Iraq that is about to be hit by one hell of a sandstorm. Reminds me of my days in Al Ain, UAE!

Well nothing like a bit of inspiration! I thought this was really cool, and I don't think I have heard this one before. My last shot for the blog. Bye for now!